(I know, I know–another inflammatory title. But if you’re not feeling a bit inflamed by the end of this post, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.)

Wading through statistics makes me cranky. My inner journalist, latent as she may be, pitches a fit when she hears people making making vague allusions to “research,” or when numbers are spun to crown “heroes” and hang “villains.” Prepping for this message about how cohabitation hurts women and children has practically sent my Lois Lane gene through the roof. Few people are neutral when it comes to child abuse and their living arrangements (happily so), and I am not comfortable using a handful of strategically-chosen, sloppily-cited statistics from organizations that I know have an agenda–even if I happen to agree with their agenda.

So I have been on a little bit of a vendetta to “get the scoop” on how children are impacted by their living situation. And it hasn’t been easy. Privacy laws complicate matters enormously, and many numbers have to be cobbled together from a variety of sources. After the statistic I ran across yesterday about mothers being the most likely physical abuser of their young children, I was downright infuriated. It was a hardcore “Yes, but” sort of statistic. I had to get to the bottom of it.

Finally, FINALLY, I tracked down a page that provided good statistical information, culled from the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System. Now, this page is still tricky to decipher–if you don’t read it closely, you can REALLY get the wrong idea. But what I loved about it is that it provides statistics based on substantiated or indicted child maltreatment cases. Because of that the numbers are going to skew low–a lot of abuse is never reported–but it does show the breakdown of who is being charged with what types of child abuse in the USA.

It is also crucial to understand that these numbers are based on TOTAL CASES, so while it can tell you, say, that more children are abused by their biological mother then are abused by a mother’s unrelated boyfriend (because most children live with their mothers, while relatively few live with a mother’s unrelated boyfriend), you’d have to whip out a calculator to figure out how likely a child living with his or her biological mother and her unrelated boyfriend is to be abused by said boyfriend. (Did that make any sense at all?) This also accounts for why mothers are statistically most likely to be involved child maltreatment.

Here’s the basic breakdown:

-Of all the perpetrators of child maltreatment, 54% were female, and 46% were male.

Abuse by women:

-Among female perpetrators, 86% were the child’s biological mother, 10% were non-parents, and 4% were in some sort of parental role (step-mom, dad’s girlfriend, etc.)

-Among female perpetrators, 66% had been charged with neglect only, 18% had been charged with physical abuse only, 4% had been charged with emotional abuse only, 2% had been charged with sexual abuse only, and 11% had been charged with some combination of the above.

Abuse by men:

-Among male perpetrators, 51% were biological fathers, and 26% were non-parents (12% male relatives, 13% non-relatives, and 1% some ambiguous combination of both). 10% were mother’s boyfriends, 8% were stepfathers, 5% were combination fathers, and 1% were adoptive fathers.

-Among male perpetrators, 36% had been charged with neglect only, 26% had been charged with sexual abuse only, 22% had been charged with physical abuse only, 5% had been charged with emotional abuse only, and 11% had been charged with some combination of the above.

Type of abuse by relationship

Here is where I am going to pick on the men. Because I am speaking specifically about cohabitation this week, and because only about 2% of child abuse cases involve “evil stepmother” sorts, the ladies are off the hook (for now). Step-fathers and adoptive fathers, on the other hand, are not–I couldn’t leave them out in good conscience, after what I read. I am not including statistics about men who are not in parental roles.

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND, again, that these numbers are based on PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH CHILD ABUSE. So when I say, for instance, that 26% of biological fathers who are perpetrators have been charged with physical abuse, it DOES NOT mean that 26% of men physically abuse their biological children. It means that out of all reported child abuse cases that have been substantiated and/or indicted involving biological fathers, 26% of them were for physical abuse.

Biological fathers who were perpetrators: 50% were charged with neglect only, 26% were charged with physical abuse only, 7% were charged with emotional abuse only, 7% were charged with sexual abuse only, and 11% were charged with some combination of the above.

Mother’s boyfriends who were perpetrators: 31% were charged with neglect only. 30% were charged with physical abuse only. 20% were charged with sexual abuse only. 6% were charged with emotional abuse only. And 13% were charged with some combination of the above.

Stepfathers who were perpetrators: 34% were charged with physical abuse only. 30% were charged with sexual abuse only. 20% were charged with neglect only. 4% were charged with emotional abuse only. And 12% were charged with some combination of the above.

Combination fathers who were perpetrators: 56% were charged with neglect only, 8% were charged with physical abuse only, 7% were charged with sexual abuse only, 3% were charged with emotional abuse only, and 25% were charged with some combination of the above.

Adoptive fathers who were perpetrators: 33% were charged with physical abuse only, 24% were charged with sexual abuse only, 23% were charged with neglect only, 3% were charged with emotional abuse only, and 17% were charged with some combination of the above.

There’s a lot of information to chew on here, but this has already been a stinkin’ long blog post (if you could call it that at all–it’s more like a massive disclaimer and explanation of the statistics I will be using in my message this Sunday), so I’ll end it here. Chew away, and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.