You could swear in seven languages, but don’t.

You know what to do if you’re being swallowed by an anaconda.

You don’t get why your friends don’t believe your bracelet is made out of elephant hair.

You measure your life in countries, not years.

You shudder when you see juju bags in Pier One, and freak the salesperson out by explaining what people put in there.

When someone asks you where you’re from, you laugh.

You consider peanut butter a gourmet food, and know that bananas aren’t really supposed to be yellow.

You could name the capital of Botswana, but have no idea who, what, or where Ohio is.

When the Girl Scouts show up at your door selling cookies, you try to haggle the price down.

You consider machine-gun fire a normal part of election years.

You’ve never had the stomach flu, but hear it’s a little bit like Malaria.

Wall-to-wall carpeting freaks you out.

You attend Christmas Mass with your college roommate, and come to the startling realization that you know more about Islam than Catholicism.

You’ve never owned underwear that wasn’t purchased from the JC Penney’s catalogue.

People think you’re joking when you explain it’s the parasites that keep you so skinny.

You’ve ever been stung by a jellyfish during school hours.

You slip the American customs official a fiver and a pack of chewing gum out of habit. Oops.

You ALWAYS look inside your shoes before putting them on!!!

Got more? Leave’em in the comments!