Warning: full-scale mommy-rant ahead.

Okay, I think it’s kind of nutty to have fourteen kids. But an investigation by the state of California’s medical board into the doctor who implanted the octuplets is even nuttier. I mean, it’s the mom’s decision, right? Evidently the “it’s my body” argument only applies to people who follow social norms in regard to childbearing. Why should her doctor be penalized for following his patient’s wishes instead of upholding America’s unspoken expectations about how many children people are supposed to have?

As a mother of four, I’ve faced my share of sneers and snide remarks, the thinly-veiled disapproval of people whose expectations I have violated. And that’s fine. People have a right to their opinions. But the outrage the octuplets have caused just highlights our society’s low view of children, and the people who dedicate their lives to caring for them.

This is where, in my opinion, certain facets of feminism falls flat on its face. Certainly there’s more to being a woman than being a mother, but denigrating motherhood and the hard-work and dedication it entails will NEVER lift up women. There’s more to life than being a mother, but there’s also more to life than having a career, than having a social life, than having whatever society deems necessary to be a well-rounded person.

One of Gloria Steinem’s books–I can’t remember which one–made that point that in pretty much every culture, the work traditionally done by women is undervalued. And what is as traditionally and exclusively feminine as motherhood? The “mommy wars” between working and stay-at-home mothers are completely preposterous and damaging to women from all walks of life. No one should have to feel ashamed of or apologize for having a job to contribute to the family finances, or staying home to take care of their babies, or wanting two children, or no children, or fourteen children. I mean, the whole point of women’s liberation is to liberate women to follow their dreams, not to tell them which dreams they’re allowed to have.

So I say if that mother wants to have fourteen children, that’s her business, and the state of California’s medical board is WAY out of line. So people are pissed off about a single woman undergoing invitro fertilization and giving birth to octuplets. So what? Call it crazy if you want, but last time I checked having children, or helping a woman have children, is not a crime.