God is chasing me.

I know this, because everywhere I turn, I am being accosted with the message to press on. (Toward what goal I am not particularly sure, but happily I am one of those people who is pretty content to live “in the journey.” I have lots of practice with that. :-D) Motivational books showing up in my mailbox. Friends and strangers encouraging me out of the blue. And tonight, a guest speaker at our church urging us not to settle for good things–to press on toward “God-sized things.”

All this on top of this restlessness in my soul, this sense that I am a sprout pressing hard against the brittle seed surrounding me, that I must break out, unfurl my leaves, stretch toward the sun and bloom, or shrink back and suffocate, entombed in safe, invisible anonymity.

Sheesh. It all sounds so melodramatic. Did I mention that I’ve been critiquing my friends’ fantasy manuscripts for the last several hours, LOL!

But seriously, something is stirring in me. Not that things haven’t stirred in me before–it’s just that this time, everything carries the air of plausibility. Like spring is imminent.

I don’t know where I am going, but with God’s grace, I know that I am not going to shrink back.

One foot in front of the other, one small, right decision at a time. That is my goal, my prayer for myself right now. It is not the big, global decisions that are a problem for me–it is the small, day-to-day entanglements that trip me up on a consistent basis. My inability to manage the small details of my life that eventually grows into a tidal wave of trivial crises, knocking my ship off course and wasting my valuable time weathering the storms, repairing the sails, and finding my way back on course.

But I am getting better.

My English skills, however, are not. I’m signing off and going to bed before I start sounding like a semi-literate refugee from an epic fantasy, or worse yet, the wise old sage from my children’s’ new favorite movie.

“Ah, Daniel-san. Walk on road, hmm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, get squish just like grape.”

Good night, kimosabes.