Emotional abuse is one of those sticky topics that Christians don’t like to talk about a lot. We prefer to stick to clear-cut, black-and-white issues, and emotional abuse doesn’t fit neatly into the categories most of us are familiar with. (Although I would contend that it does–check out Colossians 3:8, Matthew 20:25-28, Ephesians 4:29…The list goes on and on.)

I have a post up today at Her.Meneutics talking about emotional abuse–what it is, what it is not, and how the church should respond. There’s one quote that I dearly wanted to get in there, but just couldn’t fit into the word count, so I’ll post it here:

Yvonne DeVaughn is the national director of AVA (Advocacy for Victims of Abuse), a ministry that equips churches to address domestic abuse. She talks about many churches’ well-meaning attempt to “fix” the problem by changing the victim, explaining “A lot of times what we hear is that people tend to blame women. If she would be a better woman, if she’d just cook and have his food there, if she’d give him sex, if she’d do this and that, these things wouldn’t happen. The implication is that she’s provoking the abuser to anger, when it has nothing to do with that.”

If the idea that the victim’s actions “have nothing to do with” the abuser’s behavior sounds surprising to you, hop on over and read the article! Leave a comment if you’re so inclined, then come back here and tell me what you think.

How can the church do a better job of helping both victims and perpetrators of emotional abuse find hope and healing?