When I was a baby, my Auntie Lynn gave me a beautiful plaque inscribed with my name, its meaning, and a Bible verse, plucked from Proverbs 31: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

It was the first Bible verse I memorized, the words sinking deep into my soul through constant exposure. In the simple logic of a child, I thought the plaque described what people named Jenny were supposed to be; that wise and kind speech was the birthright of Jenny’s down throughout history. I tried hard to live into it, whispering the verse over and over in my mind, my own personal mantra. “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

I become more and more convinced that the church needs that plaque. That every church and non-profit, every Christian-run business, every pastor, blogger, and speaker should have a puffy peach calico wall hanging, rimmed with cheap machine-made lace, hanging above their computer. “She opens her mouth with wisdom,” the calligraphy should read, “and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

The law of kindness. Doesn’t that sound lovely?

We live in a culture inundated with adversarial speech. Outrage is the news media’s currency of choice, and ratings (and profits) rise with the commentators voices. Christians have picked up this nasty, worldly and immodest habit, and expose their shameful side gleefully, thrilled to get a cheap rise out of others. It is one thing to have an opinion, and express it thoughtfully and respectfully. It is another to flaunt it with a childish one-line zinger on Twitter, or post pictures meant to aggravate people who are different than you on Facebook. “Neener neener, I’m eating at Chik-fil-A, and you can’t stop me!” “Nany nany boo boo, I’m more open-minded than you.”

Honestly, children. Lower your voices, stop squabbling with your siblings, and for heaven’s sake, chew with your mouth closed.

Seriously, what does such behavior accomplish, except to gain guffaws and pats on the back from your tribe, and alienate those who disagree with you? Does it improve your character? Elevate the discussion? Draw anyone closer to Christ?

No? Then perhaps you should follow the law of kindness, and keep your mouth wisely closed.