Today’s Equally Yoked post is by Christina Hammer.

Every day, even if I only acknowledge it only when I lie down to sleep at night, I find myself very grateful for my husband of over 21 years. Yes, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, and I think it’s only fair to let you know that I consider it a miracle that we are together today. In all honesty, I think it’s only by God’s gracious mercy that we are still together, and that even any couple stays together. I know this one thing to be true: if it wasn’t for God in the middle of our relationship, we wouldn’t be together, nor would we have met in the first place.

As a young woman, I made many mistakes in not waiting for God’s plan to unfold, and I made and followed my own plans. Unfortunately, when I was 18, I settled for a man who did not know Jesus, was angry, emotionally unavailable, and abusive. Consequently, I allowed this relationship to eat away seven years of my life. I learned a substantial lesson: in order for a marital relationship to thrive, God HAD to be in the mix.

So, about a year after the divorce, I began praying for forgiveness for my past mistakes, and for a Christian husband. Our timing isn’t necessarily God’s, though, and I resolved to wait for God’s best for my life. I knew that I didn’t want someone who would control and abuse me, and if I just became involved with another man just because I wanted someone, anyone, my life would continue to be something I didn’t want it to be.

Surprising to me, God answered my prayers that year. In fact, a series of events started unfolding the week I began praying for my future husband. A young man who lived 1,200 miles away from me lost his job, subsequently began a traveling job which brought him to his cousin’s house, and they went to my church; he made a “deal” with God in his travels… he came back to Wichita, we met the day he trusted in Jesus for the first time, and we were married a short four months later.

It was really a whirlwind, and we really believed we could triumph over anything, as long as we had Jesus and each other. We soon found out that neither of us had good communication skills, and we had a lot of baggage we both brought into the marriage. We separated four times in the first two years we were married. The thing that kept us together, however, was the belief that God was obviously the One who brought us together, allowing our paths to cross in His timing.

I had been a Christian for 15 years, and I knew Jesus died for me, and I could be with Him in eternity. What I didn’t understand fully was that He wanted me to trust Him to be my Lord. My husband, even though he was younger in the faith than I was, understood this concept. It frustrated him that I just didn’t get it. Well, in spite of, and because of those turbulent two years, I finally got it! I don’t think I would have if we wouldn’t have been through so much. Again, I don’t know how anyone makes it through without Jesus.

We have been blessed in so many ways, and we have also endured many hardships. Since 1993, we have followed God wherever He asked us to go… Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas, and Texas. We have believed that God had called us into full-time vocational ministry, but after pursuing it for many years, and after working part-time at several churches, we finally had to face the fact that maybe being a full-time pastor just wasn’t in the plan. That has been a devastating realization to my husband and so disappointing after believing for so many years.

But again, it’s a good thing we are both Christians. When one of us is down, we have an encourager. Just like Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says:

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls down and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

This verse has played itself out in our lives more than one time, and to say I’m grateful is an understatement. We, very rarely, are discouraged at the same time, and when we are, we know we have someone to help us.

We have been blessed with five sons when we were told that we may not have any children due to me having Endometriosis. Those boys are a gift that we never would have experienced if God would not have intervened and created a life much better than I had ever dreamed.

It’s not easy to be a God-follower, but I know it would more difficult if my husband and I didn’t have the same beliefs. Even though we both go through independent crises at times, we have Someone to believe in. And even though our circumstances aren’t always what we are praying for, we know there are reasons for everything that happens. We may not understand it, but we are there for each other when life throws curve balls and tries to derail us from our true purpose.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Christy is married to Jim, and they will celebrate their 22^nd wedding anniversary in 2013. They have five sons: Noah (17), Jonah (16), Caleb (14), Jesse (12), and Isaac (12). Christy graduated from Texas Woman’s University in December with her Bachelors in General Studies (English/Sociology emphasis) after starting college 22 years ago. She recently finished writing her first novel and one of her life’s goals is to be a published author, hopefully, someday soon. She blogs at Reading is Education and Move Forward From Domestic Abuse.